Week 9: Reveling in weight

My heart is tossed upon the wind too often, and yet I feel this is what I am to learn. It seems that the hardest part of this work is keeping the heart in the right place because so many other external forces are working on it to bring about discouragement, contentness, even frustration. I am pleased to state that I am learning, and will yet learn.

The famous Bro. Helido that I had so much hope for (and still do) has declined the offer of the Restored Gospel. It appears that the family that we are reactivating and converting, Sumanga, and the new member family that still has unbaptized children, DeRamos, will be moving. Our already struggling Branch Presidency consisting of young RMs will now struggle more with the loss of all the councilors, the elder’s quorum president and other key members. Bless the sweet strong heart of President Casutudio. In addition, we have another recently baptized member moving with his 30-year-old son who was scheduled to me baptized on Saturday. And last but not least the sweet katulong (house help), Ann, who has just moved down to Roxas, but was also scheduled to be baptized this week.

The share this not to earn pity because it matters not for them that they go because they have tasted the light and joy of Christ and will bring that with them to the church in their area. Some will have to wait a bit longer to be baptized. But on the other hand, our branch is who I long to help. We, us the missionaries, have no burdens compared to those in the branch that are actually pulling their weight. My heart goes out to them, and not for myself. This work will plough forth, but our little branch is susceptible to strain and struggle without the help of altruistic locals.

It would hurt to see my mission ever go downhill because gratefully it has not. Every week, every day, I feel all the more closer to my insurmountable goal of just being the man, the missionary, and the Lord would have of me. I converse with members and interrupt strangers; I read in my spare moments and think in my busy ones. Yet, the summit feels ever just as far. I know I am going somewhere because I am trying so hard, even trying hard and picking up the speed – sometimes I am slow or dull. Everyday, I see many missed opportunities and even so I see little miracles.

My heart is light when I do not burden it with trivial matters. It really is sweet, the fruit of this work. I have only begun to sow and yet I know there is so much more that awaits. After the fact, I know it is not the bounty of the harvest that counts, but the muscles it has toned and the skills it has revealed.

My dog bit is just as fine. Our zone activity was fun but overestimated. My hope for next week is for more effort expended on my part. I thank you for the prayers that are said all around the world by active members for the missionaries, and even more for those prayers that are directly for me. I pray too.