I am scared...

I am scared... but of what.

It is hard to say sometimes. There is so much I want out of my life, and I am stumbling through it so fast – I must be missing something. At this point I decide that faith is the solution to this dilemma, and that I must know that as long as I am doing what I am suppose to do, things will work out best for me. However, I am not always doing what I should do, which is what brings fear, fear of the unknown. I believe that is what most people fear, which is why so many people are afraid of the dark. Expecting the worst around the corner or in the shadow.

I delight in knowledge and understanding, and when unfamiliar things loom in the horizon, I get a restless feeling of uncertainty. Certainty is one of my motivations, so when I am left in the dark, I don’t want to move because I don’t like to go where I can’t see.

The worse part is that it only applies to some mysteries. I really do like adventures. Leaving off on my own to go to Japan for a week with a bunch of strangers. Hiking up long unmarked trails. Escaping home at a young age to go to college. I enjoy many mysteries. It is just some that elude my enjoyment.

Maybe, it is that I am not fully prepared for life. Maybe, I have much less confidence than I think. Maybe, it is just an innate part of life that keeps us progressing. I don’t know. I just want to do the best job I can in as many thinks as I can. This spreads me quite thin sometimes because I undertake so much, but if I was to successfully complete all my undertakings, I would be quite the man indeed.

I must rely upon the faith I have and the seemingly simple directions of right and wrong to plot my course through the dark unknown, as we all must. Light will only be present at the right road. It is up to us to get there and stay there.

I am scared… that I will not be able to stay there.